Married or not… you should read this.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
[ kiss me please? ]
I am currently working with morons. Typical bunch of idiots who telan gaji buta, and have zero sense of responsibility or passion. Hari Raya Puasa-cuti, CNY-also cuti,.. and now Thaipusam-also cuti. Like wtf!?! Yea it's just a KK. But when you're left alone to run the entire frickin KK, seeing about 300 patients and managing 6 emergencies and annoying dumb staffs, it seriously pisses the living bananas outa you! Seriously.
Dumb nubs!
I was trying not to die of asphyxia from coughing too much,or with my stuffy nose and there you go, all 10 millions of you coming in to see me for MCs on my very busy day, for a mere headache/flu/neck pain/backside pain.... Singa betina went wild. Seriously!
Wooozzaaaa...
Yet, it's a sense of accomplishment. One doesnt get to me super woman everyday. And what more, to succeed. So, yeah..!
Sayang's going back to school!!! Orientation day at MMU tmrw..!! *huggies* go, go power rangers.. Im sure you'll do awesome!!!!! *sprinkles sayang dusts* Dont be a teacher's pet k :D
Only consulation is, there's just two more days remaining til the weekend. Phhewww.
Ok, off to some TLC. *grins*
God Bless, all you lazy bums. May you prosper always!!!
[ kiss me please? ]
I miss dennis so much.. but I'm mad at him right now... so much to think of right now...
Currently [ depressed ] will it last?
[ kiss me please? ]
AArrrrggghhh,....!!!
Its really true what they say. Well, its more of what I usually say. Doctors, are indeed the worst patients.
How is it we can cure most (very very almost!!) ailments, but not a common cold that has been bugging us, so much so it almost ruined a very pretty holiday getaway!!
Seriously, horrid horrid horrid flu, irritatingly sore throat, thick yucky phlegm which refuses to come out. Issshh...And the worst part of being sick, Mummy boils her famous barley!!!!! I dont like barley!!!!!! Ish..
*dont like being sick* 
Hey, at least Im still sane. So, maybe, just a little maybe, all is well. Need to get better stat. Started diligently taking them all, everything la..the whole do. Even menthol crystals (which turns out to be such a killer.. it burns the eyes, and the sharp menthol stings the throat...!!!) Haiseyman...
Mummy's sittin by the pc upstairs, singing out loud... (she's been watching too much American Idol with me!) and Moo Moo is sitting my the foot of the stairs, staring towards upstairs wondering what's going on. Tehehehehehe....
Nice short holiday getaway. Nice.
Yay, still no work tmrw!!! Can watch tv the whole of tonite and just chill!!! Yay!!! Me likes...
Flu flu, go away...!!!
[ kiss me please? ]
It's been a while since the last time I've open this account.. and it feels good!!
Currently [ amused ] will it last?
[ kiss me please? ]
Wheeee.... Im a year closer to 30!!!!
And turning 29 yesterday, was indeed one of the bestest ever birthdays of all times. Seriously.
On the eve, Dear took me out for dinner. Came and picked me up with 3 red roses, all slick and hot in a nice shirt and all *melts* Went to The Geographer, IOI Boulevard. Nice decent place. We sat under the stars, the waiter was exceptionally courteous, had white wine and a whole lotta food. With tiramisu (tiravani..teehehehehe) and all. Then brought out another single stalk of rose at midnite, with a 4page card he made (the sweetest thing ever, really!!!!.. it was so pretty!!!) and a white gold chain with a diamond pendant, and kisses and hugs *jumps around* Tehhehehehe.. so sweet. Thank you, sayang..!! No one has ever been so sweet to me! *hugs*
Then on the 3rd, we went peti sejuk shopping coz the fridge at home really kantoi. Ended up with a nice pretty one from Harvey Norman. Was supposed to meet at KLCC, but tak jadi so he came over to Pyramid and we had lunch together. Then at nite,... *surprise party* at S'Mores...!! Thank you for making it, Mummy & Daddy, Dinesh, Babes (although Mog Annae was down with chicky pox and all.. really apppreciate u coming), Bani (no Sunny Boy.. coz he was off shore) and Dheepa (although vegetarian, still came and enjoyed her Virgin mojito!! Teheheheeh). And of coz my dear sayang, for bringing everyone together and all. Thank you all *huggies* A whole lotta pandi filled food, a whole lotta alco (Mummy almost-almost-almost had a tequila shot..tehehehehe) and the perfectest company (almost-all the people I sayang most).
After almost all went back,.. Dear, Dheepa and I hung arnd with more drinks (and more virgins mojitos!) til S'Mores switched off the lights!!! Nice, that was nice. Really nice, kan.
I am totally and utterly blessed. Thank you.
*senyums a lot a lot*
Today I became dracula. It's true wat they say, it's not easy treating loved ones. I had to draw blood from him today, for his Masters Med check up (yup, he got accepted for his Masters *clap*clap* you can do it sayang!!!), and I was so nervous. Despite him having such fat juicy veins. Tehehehehehe...
Then Dheepa, Dear and I went jalan jalan cari makan at Sunway. Actually we kinda went to check out Dheepa's iPhone (she's a dumb dumb, dont even ask what was wrong with the phone!!! Really!!). We had yummy Moo Moo yogurt (that stuffs is just too good!!!), and then went over to DELIcious for a lunch (Dheepa's Portobello burger was awesome, and I loved my chicky avacado sandwich.. healthy stuff) and for some sugar high 
Nice. I really liked today.
Came home, popped some antibiotics and URTI meds and kinda just chilled. Nice.
Mummy got caked.. Tehehehehehe...!!
Gotta start thinking of my future la. Gotta start thinking of my career and decide where I wanna be, at least 5 years down the road. Yea.
For now, Im gonna makan ice cream and watch tv. *skips along*
29th year, Im gonna make it all happen. Bring it on, yo!
My 28th year was a blessing. I became a better daughter, I became wiser financially, I am now more responsible, I learnt the true meaning of family especially us cousins, I met you my dear, I bought a cantik car (teehehehehee...) I learnt the better side of mistakes (which turned out to truly be a blessing in disguise!!!). Over all, I am a better person in whole. And Im gonna strive to be even better, in so many ways.
To all of ya'll for matter to me, I really sayang ya'll.
[ kiss me please? ]
Today's my last day being 28
I remember how I used to be really sad during these days in Ukraine, or in Penang. Being homesick and all. Then all those hidden surprises that 'pop' out of no where. Tehehehehess.... But this time, Im lovin it. Im blessed with people I love, its awesome to be around familia, and Im gifted with my sayang around! So, yea.. it's gonna be a blast. Nevertheless.
Last night, Dear brought me to my first Neeta's Herbal Hair Treatment (Ninja Hair Treatment!!! Tehehehehe). T'was nice la, I especially loved the head and neck massage, so soothing. Dint like the high frequency thingy, felt so damn ticklish. Over all, was ok la. A new experience. Hopefully the hair grows, I wanna look cantik :D Thank you, Dear. If it werent for you, I would have done it *hugs*
Chief is down with the chicky pox. Cant even imagine what he's going thru, larger surface area and all..teehehehehes!! Hopefully he feels better soon. In fact, all those who visited Babes, got infected with her dahsyat virus!
Few more hours before looonnngggg holiday!!! And a locum-free one for that matter!! Wheeeee....!!!
Being blessed is nice. Im lovin the feeling. Im loving it.
[ kiss me please? ]